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I’d run that TV ‘Green Hornet’ marathon, if I had time

January 27th · 2 Comments · Florida Weekly

I’ve seen the movie trailer. It seemed to shout, ‘Invest your money, intelligence and dignity elsewhere: Catch the Syfy marathon.’

— From my latest commentary in Florida Weekly.

Read the column here. See the page here. See this week’s entire Digital Edition here. Or just keep reading:

There I was, trying to get some writer-editor work done. And there on the TV was … a “Green Hornet” marathon.

Jason the TVaholic, at www.tvaholic.com, documented 153 such marathons that ran last Thanksgiving weekend.

Bravo carried eight Thanksgiving Day episodes of “Millionaire Matchmaker” followed by five episodes of “The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.”

The Syfy channel played eight James Bond films that day followed by four more Friday and two after that.

Meanwhile “Home Alone” 4, 3 & 2 were terrorizing the ABC Family channel. History dispatched 11 episodes of “Ice Road Truckers.”

The Discovery Channel shipped 15 episodes of “Deadliest Catch” followed by 10 eps of “Dirty Jobs.”

Jason notes that to be listed, a marathon has to be at least five hours of the same show or type of movie.

That scene was repeated with 131 marathons run over New Year’s weekend and 119 over Christmas weekend.

The running continues. Bravo was back the other day with five more episodes of “Millionaire Matchmaker,” followed by five “Tabatha’s Salon” takeovers and seven more “Real Housewives.”

Who’s watching all this stuff?

Who has the time?

I would if I could.

For example, that “Green Hornet”?

Just about the funnest 1960s-era crime-fighter series this side of “Batman,” with its heroes masquerading as a newspaper publisher and his valet.

The latter, Kato, was played by celebrated martial artist Bruce Lee. His cool moves and the show’s cool gadgets were a teenager’s dream come black-and-white-screen true.

Not that I would know anything about it: I missed all those “Green Hornet” episodes that my buddies arrived raving about on school mornings. Seems there was some problem with our TV’s rabbit ears not picking up the signal.

Since then cable has become king and I’ve caught an episode here and there.

Ah, but thanks to Syfy’s Jan. 11 “Green Hornet” marathon, there was my chance to watch every episode.

That marathon was a naked promo, of course, for the movie of the same name coming to a theater near you.

I’m all for different remotes for different folks. Eye of the beholder and all that. But I’ve seen the movie trailer. It seemed to shout, “Invest your money, intelligence and dignity elsewhere: Catch the Syfy marathon.”

Alas, instead some of us have to work. So, I went “Green Hornet” marathonless.

Yet Kato was beckoning after I left the house and then returned home. So… er, no, I didn’t exactly go “Green Hornet” marathonless.

My old TV did allow for regular escapes to the “Twilight Zone.” These days, Rod Serling’s signature series is a regular marathoner, averaging 1.16 million total views during its New Year’s Day run.

Meanwhile “Law & Order” is its own perpetual marathon. The series ought to have its own cable channel by its own name, after dominating a couple of other networks.

Among other marathons, I had heard that VH1 was running five hours of “Saturday Night Live” episodes.

To view some of “SNL’s” first several season classics again would be nice. I recall more than once being at parties back then, when one of us asked the host if there was a TV where we could catch the show’s beginning — and the whole gathering ended up in that room watching.

My musings on the tube would be incomplete without mention of a potentially ultimate marathon: “24.”

Original. Fresh. I stumbled upon Jack Bauer in his first episodes.

Right up until its last season, his was the only TV show I actually made time to see.

In rerun form the spontaneity, and thus much of the thrill, is gone. But in its own way “24” was its own marathon.

The thought occurs that a reader could email to say the idea is not to sit and watch all of a marathon’s episodes as they air, but to TiVo them in order to share their finer points some day with, say, culturally deprived grandkids.

But I don’t have a TiVo or other digital video recorder. The closest I have to a digital video library is the video subscription service Netflix.

Even that account I have suspended, realizing I’m too much on the go to watch all the great stuff lined up in my queue.

Then there’s YouTube. I’m hesitant to search its innumerable online videos for a certain crime-fighting duo. It wouldn’t surprise me to find every episode. They’d then go to the queue of favorites that I was so happy to find but rarely watch.

Nope, no snarky comments here about a dumbed-down, TV-watching nation.

TV gluttony can be as bad as any excess.

One also can enjoy the “Green Hornet” without being a blockhead.

When things are a tad less busy, maybe I will.

— C.B. Hanif

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2 Comments so far ↓

  • Charles Keefer

    No comments?

    Duh?

    I have all the seasons of “24″ and all you have to do to lose a day and a half of your life is put the first disc into your DVD player.

    I have all the James Bond films – at least the good ones. I do not consider the Roger Moore films actual James Bond.

    Now come on, who is the best James Bond. Is it Sean Connery, Pierce Brosnan or Daniel Craig?

    According to adjusted gross box office receipts itis Sean Connery with “Thunderball.”

    How could this not get a comment?

    Well, I guess you people are busy.

  • admin

    @ Charles Keefer: My fault Chuck, I should be posting much more here. But trying to balance way too much going on in my “Life After The Post.” Answer is Connery, no question; he defined the role (then trashed it a bit in the end, but they were grasping by then). Also, can’t argue with “Thunderball” box office, but surely “Goldfinger” right up there as Bond movies go. Which brings me to my question: Best Bond Theme Song Singer (not song). Bassey’s “Goldfinger” gets my vote.

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